Christian chat on sex addiction
Mary Kay Cosmetics was holding a conference at the same hotel, and during breaks, the lobby teemed with women.
••• For four years, Dorantes has been leading a sexual-addiction recovery group at Florence Avenue Foursquare Church in Sante Fe Springs.
Dorantes, who owns a lock and safe business, already has come clean.
But last month, on a cruise to Puerto Rico, Dorantes says he felt the familiar urges.
They avoided alcohol and were told not to leave the hotel. “But the compulsion has gone away.” ••• The weekend over, Dorantes is staying in touch with two of the men in his group to support their continued recovery.
A key moment occurred Saturday night when the men symbolically cleansed themselves of their addictions, covering up things they’d written on a large white poster board when they started the seminar. Hank, a retired nuclear engineer in his 70s, wrote of the weekend: “I came depressed, down, and worried about what I would be subjected to. We got great tools.” Gary called the three-day seminar a “wonderful, eye-opening experience.” Another attendee said that coming to the seminar would not have crossed his mind if he were not married.
Still, they'll both tell you that their commitment to recovery paid off. Are you still in shock after finding a stash of online porn or hearing that your wife has lost her job for constantly violating company policies against personal Internet use?
Or are you just growing more and more concerned about where your spouse's online habits are headed?
Dorantes, too, found the seminar valuable, and said two men in his group made great progress.
It’s day one of a weekend workshop on sexual addiction, and the men have gathered at this Newport Beach hotel because they’re desperate for help.
He figures he averaged two affairs a year for 20 years. “I know this is a winnable victory,” says Bobby Dorantes, who gave the Register permission to use his full name and to be photographed for this story.
“Sex is not about two bodies,” Jim Phillis, the therapist in charge of Dorantes’ group, tells the men. Not exactly typical dinnertime chat, but Martinkus and the therapists – most recovering sex addicts themselves – have heard it all.
“It’s about two souls.” Men shared rooms in pairs to avoid being tempted to watch porn. During one of the large-group meetings, a participant asked Martinkus, “What does victory look like? “The temptation is always there,” Martinkus responded.
Dobson says such reactions are understandable but are not often successful in restoring the relationship.